Be The Change: Are you a part of the problem or the solution?


I’m no fan of pie-in-the-sky dreaming.

Of reductionist thought that answers the real problems of real people in the real world with deeper truth platitudes that end discussion and leave people foundering, sullen and silently fuming as their issues are relegated to meaninglessness in the face of the absolute. This is not to say that being aware of the absolute truth of reality is problematic. Rather, it is to say that confronting the limited and material truths of our reality with the Absolute is not a solution, but is instead a communicative, verbal and vibratory weapon often designed to overwhelm less eternal truths.

An example of this is saying that race does not matter because we are all human. Most people do believe this is true. But bringing this truth up in a conversation about the Israeli/Palestinian problem, or the issue of black incarceration in the Prison Industrial Complex in the United States does not forward the discussion, nor does it offer any practical solutions that can be implemented in the resolution of the problem.

Solutions are what are needed. Heart-centered solutions that speak to the necessity of all people to have their sovereign rights as incarnate souls respected. This is  a basic human right of existence that cannot be gainsayed by any political ideology, philosophical treaties or religious creed.

The good news is that hearts and minds are opening daily. That consciousness is spreading like wildfire across the world as the inter connectivity provided by the internet becomes the ubiquitous mode of communication for the majority of the world’s citizens. Seeking solutions and salvation beyond the self in groups and institutions must be accompanied by a search for solutions within each of us for our own problems and issues. There can be no real movement for peace and unity when we do not each individually possess those qualities within ourselves.

A slight qualification of the above statement is in order: there can be such movements and have been and probably will be, but those movements will be corrupted at their heart and soul if those who comprise the movement are corrupted in their hearts and souls. The body of membership of any organization is the sum of that membership, inculcating their dreams and desires, which then become the mission and purpose of the group. No matter what their stated principles are, the words and actions of the group will reflect the collective will of their membership, manifesting even their unconscious dreams and desires, masked beneath an rhetorical facade that usually only pays lip service to the ideology publically espoused.

This is why politicians are always caught with their pants down and their bank accounts open, their integrity compromised. This is why corporate raiders and profiteers are concerned primarily with the bottom line, lining their pockets with obscene bonuses and wondering why anybody would complain. This is why preachers and priests do terrible things to children and the emotionally compromised. This is why we hate ourselves, secretly in our inner hearts and souls, desperately seeking salavation outside of ourselves because to look within and actually do something about what we find there is too painful to work with directly.

It’s all well and good to speak words of wisdom or quote the spiritual and philosophical masters and enlightened ones when that sharing is done in the spirit of giving and not in the spirit of taking. In this sense, taking praise from others, likes from the multitude, the verbal praise of having something that others lack, of being able to see into the heart of  situations and to share what is seen there in an empathic and seemingly loving manner is a gift of the spirit and can be easily recognized for its resonance factor and embodiment of higher energetic frequencies. Conversely, doing such in the context of a personal battle of wills or in the making of points that emphasize an individual and egoistic attachment to self-gratification through the adulation of the hoi polloi serve to densify and further stratify personality in a hierarchical and energetically vampiric structure of vanity and egoism. Differentiating between these two types of expression is a stark but necessary maneuver for those who seek to recognize the real from the facade. Platitudes and truisms used as weapons in order to win an argument or in response to a perceived slight on the part of others are platitudes and truisms used in vain.

They are indicative of BEingness that is self-centered and ego-centric. Granted, that consciousness may be and probably is on the road of spiritual and philosophical enlightenment, but in that particular instance they have been waylaid by the intellect of ego and the densification of anger, affront or judgement, which renders their judgement faulty. This is a condition of creation and material incarnation and there is no fault in living in the real and being cognizant of the process of gradual evolution, which is indeed a process, meaning, it does not happen instantaneously for most people. It takes a while to grow and learn through experience how to truly become wise instead of just appearing so.

The solutions to all of the world’s problems are already known. The way to get there has already been laid out. The world’s problems are the same as each of our individual problems, just magnified and fractalized at a larger scale of macrocosmic occurrence. It is in the application of this knowledge to ourselves that we fail to apply the solutions that the world needs. And it will only be when we begin as a collective to recognize our individual failings and the interconnectivity of all consciousness that we will understand that by helping ourselves we are indeed helping the world.

The change begins with each of us. It has already begun and is well in progress. Are you a part of the solutions? Or a part of the problem?

Make a difference. Beyond the platitudes and quotes, we must indeed be the change we want to see in the world. Words must lead to actions in order for the shift to be actualized and manifest for us and our children and our children’s children to enjoy a world based upon a very different paradigm than the one that is failing around us in this very moment.

Directed Consciousness: The resonation of material expression


Right now, everything is fine. Peace pulsates at the center. The radiance of calm and well-being exudes an aura of golden stillness.

Spiritual Life CoachingThis is not so because life is perfect. It is not because things are either good or bad. The reason has nothing to do with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, the trials and tribulations of life. The reason has to do only with the fact that living in the Now creates a mental and spiritual space of presence and awareness. It is the total concentration of attention on the Present. It is the living consciousness of complete awareness.

This is not to say that engaging memory or considerations of the future do not occur. Of course they must, as the processes of living require them in order to navigate life and the world. As an example of directed consciousness, the recapitulation process is a mandatory practice in the resolution of a lifetime. This is also not to say that the emotions are stilled immediately, as they are connected to memory and considerations of the future and often arise spontaneously as the mental imagery and habitual sub-vocal discursiveness engage patterns of chemical release in the form of neuro-peptides cascading from the hypothalamus into the cells of the body, resulting in the bodily expression of mental stimuli. But as the habit of living in the Now evolves and deepens, the neural network begins to reflect the mental changes and the synaptic connection between axons and dendrites that form the network associations we call personality and the memory-based, experiential triggers and self-regulating emotional patterns, resulting in a qualitative rarification process that streamlines the physical structure of the mind in response to the new pattern of the thought processes.

The personal experience of this phenomenon may seem curious and improbable when compared to the typical pattern of emotional addiction and mental chatter that typifies the normative lived experience. But it is the natural evolution of directed consciousness and steady insistence upon mental and emotional control. The ability to direct consciousness and regulate attention is concentration. Everyone does it to a certain extent. Through the practice of physical and mental tasks that develop concentration mind control is facilitated. Art, music, sports and academics all require the development of the concentrative faculties in order to excel in these practices. Since most people have participated in any one of these exercises the states of presence and awareness that often accompany their successful and skilled expression may be somewhat familiar. The reality of living in a constant state of presence and awareness is the reality of living in the Zone.

No matter the state of mind, emotion or body, every moment is perfect. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to realize this. Ceasing the constant mental chatter to access the infinite space of presence and awareness that underlies all and looking at situations and the world through eyes bright with the epiphanic wonder of directed consciousness reminds the limited personality construct that our default perceptive modalities are only a pale rendition of what is possible.

In the Now regrets fall away into oblivion, as do worries and fears. It becomes readily apparent that such are the illusions of imaginative dwelling, fed by the emotional maelstrom that becomes the personality construct’s default mind-state due to the habitual avoidance of the present moment. Societal forces are in large part responsible for the individual’s preoccupation with the external reality to the detriment of the internal reality. Societal norms and pressure from kinship and peer groups enforce conformity and adherence to patterns of behavior deviating only minimally from standard medians of expressive measurement.

The Voice from Nowhere


The pleasures of a life are many and fleeting but are as nothing compared to the ecstasy of life. The sublime experiences of the spirit are able to lift one from the midst of the daily grind, eliciting wonder and joy, giving a higher context to the purpose of living consciously and in search of the higher aspects of self versus the gratification of the lower. The juxtaposition of the physical and the spiritual is the cauldron of happiness and sadness we traverse through our experiences, the fixation of our attention and perspective alternating between the higher and the lower aspects of our lives. Navigating the Path between the two extremes requires discipline and dedication, mind control and emotional stability.

Life is both sweet and sour and it is designed to be that way. The Earth experience is not a garden of peace nor is it a war planet. It is both and neither, it is something more and something less. The more is the sum of its parts, the objective manifestation of all potentiality within a holographic material matrix of sensual inundation and psycho-spiritual bombardment that satiates the multidimensional requirements of evolving souls. The less is its relative and subjective nature, its tendency to overwhelm the senses and the mind, resulting in crass debauchery and physical enjoyment to the detriment of the higher senses.

Once you have experienced Oneness, the Godhead/Trinity, Unity, Source, directly and unequivocally, you are forever connected to it from that moment on. It lies behind every thought, it informs every relative truth, it denies all separation. It is the futility of living false lives, of telling lies, of being greedy, of serving the needs of self over others. It is pressing the internal button to turn on the omniversal multimedia presentation called Creation, to connect to it consciously, with the intent and purpose of complying with its directives, which represent the laws of energy conservation and movement at all levels of being. In all actuality, we are never disconnected from it – as it is our Home – but the inculcation of an egoistic personality complex and the mental structures of time and space navigation combine to obscure the deeper currents of mind, where the still and placid immensity of All That Is flow unendingly, ever available to those willing to let go and let God.

The pleasures of life lived for the senses are a mere distraction from the deeper pleasures of spiritual awakening. Going beyond pleasure, beyond happiness, beyond the need for any sort of material gratification or emotional intoxication is the reward of the spiritual quest. Food, sex, violence and all variations and associated modalities satiate the sensual, those whose highest aspirations are material gratification and that is as it should be, as life takes all types and we all co-exist at different levels of understanding and experience. But for those traversing these dales of lustful travails they pale quickly, the call ever heard to seek higher, go deeper, expand vision and experience wider. The quiet whisper of Truth promising something more, something amazing, something lasting, something real. And yet, paradoxically, it is the moderate experience of both sides that reveals the true meaning of life.

Complying with the directives of Creation is following the voice from nowhere, the one that speaks without sound. Learning to still the mind and cultivate the quietude of inner peace. Existing in the Now when necessary, recognizing the Crossroads moments and embodying purest Self in response, thereby fulfilling destiny and the highest potentiality of each and ever moment.

As humans on the journey of self-discovery it is necessary for us to be gentle with ourselves along the path. We will fail. We will backslide, meander, digress for a time, it is the nature of consciousness co-opted to alternate between sleeping and awakening for a time. But there will come another time when you will suddenly realize that you are awake more than you are asleep, that you are conscious of your path and purpose and you are actively manifesting the actions necessary to embody your truest expression of Self as only you can.

But to get to this space of Being one has first to begin the journey.

The gratifying reality of real spiritual advancement is that as you initiate your conscious and directed journey to realization you become aware of the existence of certain markers and signposts along the way. There are traditions that inform the seeker about roadblocks ahead or pratfalls to be traversed. Holy books filled with the wisdom of the ages and oral traditions cached with the truth of eternity. Continued immersion within spiritual themes contributes to control of the mind as contemplative practices such as meditation and prayer rarefy the mental space, making it a fitting abode for the Divine. As the mind purifies, the thoughts purify, as the thoughts purify so do the words and, as a result, the actions.

Jesus can get you there, as can Buddha, as can Muhammad, as can Eckhart as can Blavatsky as can so many others. The understanding that surpasses sectarian subjectivity and cultural relativity is the realization that all speak of the same underlying reality by way of differing perspectives. We each take on the perspectives that are comfortable to us. All who follow the path sincerely and with dedication will arrive at the same goal eventually. The path is an inner one and the religious traditions all possess the keys that will unlock the gate. Choosing to unlock the gate is choosing to integrate the higher and lower natures and to accept life as it comes, forgoing the dependency upon the physical nature to solve our problems and determine our goals in life. Getting past impatience and anger, jealousy and greed. Cultivating patience and tolerance, compassion and altruism. Becoming a complete human being, squaring the circle and enlightening the consciousness.

True Awakening: The conservation of energy


What do you see when you look at me?

A soul, incarnate.

What is the meaning of this flesh and blood?

A life, lived.

What am I, really?

Experience made manifest, energy entombed in blood and bone, materialized through time and space.

Each of us has our stories. Every soul incarnate has a lesson and a context within which to learn it. All lessons are one lesson and that lesson is to conserve energy. The conservation of energy is a material energetic law, but it is also a spiritual law. No matter what tradition that you examine no matter where it is across the world, you will find that this law heralding the conservation of energy as the epitome of human development is enshrined at the core of every religion and at the heart of every moral and philosophical code.

It might be nigh unrecognizable depending upon the tradition and the ceremonies and rituals encrusting its veneer, ranging from obscene displays of material wealth to obscure and byzantine chants and incantations all designed to mystify knowledge and the truth of existence that lies within every heart, within every soul, available to whomever delves deeper than the diversionary meanderings of the egoistic personality complex masking as Self. But it is there.

That which I describe simply as the conservation of energy can also be termed Enlightenment. Spiritual awakening.  These days there are many who claim themselves Awakened because they have learned about some of the obscure and relative truths of our world society, or have come upon some of the hidden properties of reality. The term Awakening has been misappropriated to stand for an understanding of the underlying political and economic strata that currently gird our mass media enshrined political and economic carnival masking as the enduring reality of our times. True Awakening instantly minimizes that understanding as trivial and a distraction. True Awakening is the conservation of all energy within a personal system, a human system, a body. True Awakening, or Enlightenment, is the realization that 99% of all thought, words and actions are unnecessary.

Awakening is conserving your personal energy. Not only that, but it is preparing the human body for becoming a portal for multiversal energy.

How can you describe Enlightenment as the Conservation of Energy?

The Awakened think, say or do nothing that is unnecessary.

How does one determine what is necessary and what is not?

By its alignment or non-alignment with the totality of All That Is.

But I’ve heard of and read about supposedly enlightened people who drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes or had sex!

Whatever was done was necessary in the instance of its doing.

But then, how can you tell who is Awakened and who is not if they are not bound by a code of behavior?

You will recognize them when you are in their presence.

Bodies possess energy signatures in the form of auric fields that surround the material form. As a life lived becomes honed in its fineness the energy pattern resonates at a higher and higher vibratory rate, causing that field to express different qualities as it spans the spectrum between the lowest vibratory reverberations and the highest. As energy is conserved and the egoistic personality construct becomes the tool it was designed to be rather than the Master it has become for most people, the all-pervading and encompassing energetic reality, or ultimate consciousness, existing beneath all of material reality shines forth and through the physical body. It becomes possible to literally feel the difference between one who is truly Awakened and one who is not.

There are many who have studied the texts of different religions and spiritual traditions long and hard. They can repeat and synthesize and exhort and declaim spiritual truisms as if they were the deepest expressions of their souls and yet, when in their presence, the simultaneous feeling of lightness and gravitas permeated by beneficence and compassion that marks those who have experienced a true spiritual transformation is missing. The sublime knowing that makes life amusing, the twinkling sprite of love peering from behind eyes deep with the wisdom gained through an  intimate and direct connection with All That Is no longer sullied by the subjective passions and misdirections of the limited and fear-ridden egoistic mind.

The Awakened conserve energy naturally, it is not an affectation. Because they engage in no extraneous thoughts, they spout no extraneous words. Because they do not speak unnecessarily, they do not become committed to actions that do not need doing. Once a certain stage of spiritual development is reached, this occurs automatically and is not something that has to be practiced or remembered. The actual purpose of all religions, spiritual truisms, moral codes and philosophies is to mimic the natural modality that the Awakened live every second of their Awakening. Religions are practice. Grade-school instructions. Moral codes are guidelines describing how one behaves when one has become Enlightened.

How does one then become Awakened?

There are many instructions but only one Way.

Does one specific religion have the answer?

All religions have the answer.

Then why don’t more people become enlightened?

They do not choose to.

People are attached to the world. Religions exhort us to leave it behind, to follow the path of the spirit. But the world calls with all of its attractions. Love, vice, hate, envy, greed, material accumulation, karmic debt, all of it combines to create an intertwined and seductive array of stimuli  that distract a soul complex in lifetime after lifetime, expending energy unnecessarily in endeavors that tie us to one another and the world in an endlessly repetitive pattern of interactions. It is only when we choose to forego the attachment process whether that be to good or evil that we create the space within ourselves to contemplate what might lie beyond the many and varied states of material distraction.

There is, paradoxically, much work to do and no work to do.  Christ says one must become as innocent as a child to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, which is within. The Buddha spoke constantly of purity, which is the state of innocence. The state of an unburdened consciousness, of a life lived within the auspices of the conservation of energy, abiding by natural law at the material and interpersonal levels.  It becomes clear once one begins the intellectual study of the many religious traditions that to act in a moral manner is indeed conserving personal energy, as the destructive and immoral states of being can clearly be determined to be definitive states of unnecessary energy expenditure stemming from distractive and mistaken thought processes and emotional states initiated and carried out by the egoistic personality structure.

Which path is the best to follow?

The path that leads you to enlightenment.

Yes, I know, but which path is that?

The one that takes you to where there are no more paths.

This is so confusing. Could you please speak more clearly? 

There is no real clarity at all until one has Awakened.

But how can I become Enlightened if it is not explained directly?

Only direct experience can provide you with the answer to that question.

The Enlightenment Series

The Great Gathering

Practical Enlightenment: The aftermath of Kenshō

The End of Forever

Practical Enlightenment: Living in the World

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma

True Awakening: The conservation of energy

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma


A return to the creative void, to Source and the experience of Nirvana, aligns the individual with the All.

The experience of total union, of submersion within Oneness will retaining a recognition of one’s self apart from that Oneness sears the synapses, clearing emotional detritus of a lifetime and allowing the individual to return to mundane waking life. But that does not remove her from experiencing the effects of her actions. Past karma is cleared but current karma in the Now must always be resolved as both the seed and the result are contained within every action. The wisdom of the Ages instructs without err in proclaiming that those seeking to live a higher form of life must free themselves of all attachments, be they good or bad. By so doing, future actions will not create karma that must be resolved in this or another lifetime.

But how can you live a life free of karma?

By being totally integral.

What does that mean?

By living free of obscurations. Totally clear, like a glass of water.

What are obscurations?

They are the expressions of ego. All separateness from others creates obscurations.

What are some examples of these expressions?

Lying, coveting and all behavior associated with these obscurations.

Attachments bind one to the object of attachment. Resultant behavior not in alignment with Source must be corrected to be in alignment. The purity of Source is the ultimate love, an infinite measure beyond that deemed to be human love, an expression of the totality of all emotion underlying the form of creation as the substrate of materiality, the magnetic and gravitational force that simultaneously attracts and repels, binds and releases, causes and results. As the foundational aspect of all being, its precision is mathematical in nature, encompassing all potentiality and probability, according all natural and human laws as dependent variables that range around a median modality of expression materially manifest as the cosmos and multiverse. The energetic reality underlying the objective experience enforces compliance with multiversal law which is experienced materially as thermodynamics and karma.

Human experientiality ranges in the median of all energetic variables. Our senses experience only a small fraction of the total.  We see and hear in the middle of the visual range, our other senses are limited to our perceptual awareness which is all too often minimized due to the distracted nature of our thought processes. The inherent subjectivity of human incarnation is made even more difficult by the isolation of ego and the facade of relativity mistaken as objectivity. The inability to see and experience reality clearly result in obscurations that must be reconciled along the spiritual path. That reconciliation is the goal of all aspiration.

Once the seed of karma has been watered its fruit must be born as it is an energetic equation that must eventually  be solved. The clearer one becomes the quicker the karma is resolved. The less detritus that stands in between the individual ego and Source the more direct the path between cause and result. The emotional return is dependent upon the chosen connections made following Satori, if any. The choice to remain living in the world necessitates the choice of attachments to maintain in order to retain that connection to materiality, or else the call of the formative void is too great to resist for very much longer following the direct experience of it.

What do you mean, the call is to great to resist?

Death calls, ever.

Death is the end of everything!

Death is the end of nothing.

Isn’t death fearsome?

Death is the end of fear.

How is it possible for one to be afraid of a place one has visited previously? This is the primary gift of Satori. The sure knowledge of what lies beyond the mortal veil. From the moment of that realization on, fear of death is done. All lesser fears immediately or gradually fade away as well.

Nothing in this Creation can truly harm any of us. Living life consciously in awareness of Life after Death is to live a life of total Freedom. Realizing that the choices and the conditions of a life are shifting and ephemeral is to take away their power to give rise to fear within and, if and when the choice to live according to full knowing is made, the person so connected to that which lies beyond becomes the living expression of the infinite and eternal and the ancient truisms pertaining to divinity without and within become the lived modality of being. All thoughts, words and actions are then in alignment with Source as Source is the direct knower, manifesting through the material vessel of the individual who has evolved to this state of manifestation. Certain aspects of personality remain, the ego remains, but now as a servant rather than the master of the vessel.

Those who achieve this state of being are often apart but never lonely as their compassion fills the world, connects them to all souls within the world and beyond. Normal relationships may fall by the wayside as people move on, as they are not receiving what they were previously on the emotional side of the relationship. The individual may appear uncaring on the level of romantic love, even though the heart of compassion is alive within them. To old friends and lovers, they may seem like a different person altogether. And they are. The memories of the person they were before remain, but the emotional connections no longer define them. The experience of true unity, true all-encompassing, all-permeating, all-existent love, compassion and one-ness contextualizes human aspiration and life and we incarnate within its grasp become visible at our true scale in relation to all things.

Such  a revelation can be staggering if ego is engaged fully, its impermanence and instability on display as always. But beyond ego there is a space of knowing that we all have. An understanding of where we have come from and where we are all eventually returning to that can reveal the true meaning of life beyond the dramas, the pain and the tears. All of that has its place in our existence and is meaningful to our individual and collective spiritual growth. Everything is an expression of one thing and nothing is separate. Absolutely nothing.

The seed and its fruit are implicit in every thought, word and action. If you do something, what you thought would happen? Will happen. And it will be what you knew would happen all along.

Now you just have to deal with it.

The Enlightenment Series

The Great Gathering

Practical Enlightenment: The aftermath of Kenshō

The End of Forever

Practical Enlightenment: Living in the World

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma

True Awakening: The conservation of energy

Insane Thoughts and Crazy Talk: Who are you, really?


There seems to be a lot of negativity going around in the last few days. Wherever I turn, wherever I look someone is ready to start a fight and someone else is there too, ready to end it.

Perhaps it is mercury retrograde right now, but communications are at a standstill. People are standing on virtual street-corners screaming out their truths and not caring who is listening or responding back. The babble is continuous and it is rising as space weather increases and the sun pops off flare after flare, as things go downhill even further in the Middle East and elsewhere in the world, as politics in the USA heat up, as our lives continue to progress along their winding paths and our personal dramas ratchet up a notch or three, all connected, all beholden to the same energetic input that must find its resolution through some form of activity, some means of resolution. All of the voices, shouting, screaming, crying, complaining, querulous and fearful at heart, the anger, the rage but a front masking the underlying terror. Despite the noise, there seems to be no resolution possible. They all can’t seem to hear each other because the chatter in their own minds is too loud.

The chatter that lies between the stillness that is your Truth and the world without. The chatter that is continuous for some people. The chatter that streams forth in a constant volley of unthinking discursiveness for some, the chatter that is released after considered but still inadequate rumination in others.

The chatter that it is our goal in life to still.

What? You can still the chatter?

Yes. You can.

But why would I want to still the chatter? It is my thoughts!

No, it is your ego’s thoughts. You are not your ego. 

But my ego is my personality! My history, my life, my experiences! My likes, my dislikes, everything! My ego is who I am!

That is what most everybody thinks. That is what our life experiences seem to tell us, at least. The life experiences that make up our personal history. Our childhoods with our parents and siblings, our time in school, our friends, our secrets and our shames, our triumphs and our joys. These are the things that we count on to represent our journey through life, these are the things that we recount when people ask us about ourselves, who we are, what our biography is, what our life is about. For those of us who are a bit more thoughtful, we might even put them in some sort of topical order and call that our path through life, as if the details of our journey are the sum of our experience and make up the totality of what we have gained along the way.

What do you mean, I am not my ego?

Your ego is limited. You are limitless.

Remember. Think back. Examine your memories. For many of you, there will be at least one that is characterized by stillness. By some moment or collection of moments when you looked around at the world and you realized that you were a part of it. There were no thoughts in this memory. Only wonder, what some might call an epiphany. It might have been when you were looking at a newborn baby, or a loved one, or a pet, or even a sunset or some other scene of natural beauty. Some moment in your life when you got it, when you understood that you were a part of something grander than the petty dramas of your life, the likes and dislikes, the hatreds and loves.

Many of us have these memories because, in those moments, we had connected with something within ourselves that is usually hidden. Something quiescent but that is always present, that is always there, watching, behind the thoughts, behind the imagination, behind the memories, behind the emotions. Something still. Something pervasive. Something that is definitely present, that is recording every single instant, every thought, every iota of information both conscious and unconscious that passes before your eyes, that crosses your mind. If you stop, right now, close your eyes and sit for a moment, turning your attention inward toward your thoughts, delving deeper than the discursive chatter that typifies the mental workings of most people, you will catch a glimpse of that something. Try it.

But what is it?

It is you.

But isn’t it the same thing as my ego? My personality?

No. 

It is what remains when your personality is gone. It is what remains when your ego dissolves. It is what remains when you die. It is consciousness. It is unbound, it is eternal, it is infinite. It is awareness. It is vast, it is inscrutable, it is impenetrable.

There are many spiritual traditions that attempt to describe it but since it is indescribable, they resort to parables, riddles and koans. It can only be experienced. It can only be realized through intense inner scrutiny and personal mental work for the purpose of stilling the discursive tendency of the ego in order to get behind it, to get beyond it, to get to the crux of who you are. It is the meaning of the ancient saying, Know Thyself. It is the meaning of the ancient truism, As Above, So Below. it is the meaning of the ancient recognition that God is Within.

It is the most ancient of mysteries, hidden in plain sight, shouting out its presence to those deaf to its voice. It is the space of emptiness that is not emptiness, the creative void of potential within each of us that connects us to the creative void of potential that is the Multiverse itself, that is God itself. It is where the many gods and goddesses spring from, much like humanity itself, it is where the nature spirits and the ultradimensional consciousnesses arise, descend through the levels of materialization and take on form, where God splits and multiplies unto infinity playing at separation to experience itself in all of its diverse unity, a multitude of seemingly cacophonous voices expressing the will of one overriding consciousness, one overriding life, one overriding love.

Wait, all of that is too much. My life is hard enough just dealing with the daily grind.

It is not enough. You must realize. You cannot Awaken until you do.

But why? Why can’t I just live my life? Why do I have to think about things like this?

That is exactly the problem. Too much thinking.

How Do You Sell Your Soul? Daily, and for cheap


What is wrong with living our lives?

Nothing. Everything is as it should be.

What can be the cost of living our lives?

Our souls.

What do you mean by that?

The choices we make in the course of living our lives determine what happens after our lives are done.

Being comfortable in life is one of the primary goals society programs into us as citizens of different countries. Despite the geographic differences and distances, Western culture as a whole displays remarkable similitude in how ideofacts and sociofacts are ingrained within populations. To be successful in any of the Western cultures, a modicrum of capitalistic ideology and consumer-oriented methodology must be inculcated by groups, families and individuals. To belong and to epitomize the expression of said culture, the actual, material expression of lifetime success is a relative degree of affluence as measured by the modernization memes that permeate Eurocentric society and those sycophant socieities serving as peripheral outposts of raw material and low-wage earner extraction.

The daily choice of complying with the demands of modern society result in the accumulation of karmic debt as a result. Because we choose to work, we accept the ramifications of what it means to do that work. If I am a police officer, then I accept the consequences of protecting the property of the rich. If I am an Insurance salesman, I accept the consequences of propping up a system built upon the enslavement of human beings. If I am a soldier, I accept the consequences of being involved in corporate mercenary adventurism. If I work at a fast food restaurant, then I accept the consequences of feeding customers food that not only is not good for them but actually helps to kill them.

Society is successful because of the complicity of ordinary human beings. Because we need jobs, because we have to pay our bills, because we have to drive our cars, because we have to live, we accept the consequences of contributing to the continuation of the vast life-draining machinery that we call modern Western society. We accept our complicity in it continuance often not even wanting to know the details of that agreement. We don’t want to know the depths of the crimes we are engaged in by association and by active work. We would rather take our paychecks and spend them on big-screen televisions, be able to go out to nice restaurants with our friends on the weekend and imbibe in more death-dealing food, drugs and alcohol in order to drown ourselves in oblivion as a result of not wanting to face up to the consequences of our lifestyles and what those lifestyles actually support.

It is painful to look at the path of a lifetime and determine that you are not on the side of the good guys. If you come to realize it, you may ask the universe, but what else could I have done? What other choices did I have? And the answers to those questions might have shaken you to your very core. Or given rise to a visceral fear that the loss of material security must result in.

In these days and times of political and social unrest, of economic insecurity and planetary shifts, nothing is certain. No life, no relationship, no job, no aspect of the natural world currently exists in a state of equilibrium, all is in flux. This flux is resulting in the gradual coalescence of a new paradigm of interrelation that must of necessity result in a more sustainable global society, a society based upon principles of egalitarianism rather than unrestrained capitalism and economic privation.

Despite the fact that everything as it currently exists is as it should be, that does not mean that there is not room for change. Since change on a global level must start with change on a personal level it is incumbent upon all who desire to live a conscious life in support of sustainable interrelationships with each other and the world, all attempts at shifting the paradigmatic focus must start within us each. Each one of us must go within and find out what it is that we are made of. In order to do that, we must determine, first, what our major illusions are, what our fears are, what is it in our lives that is holding us back from being all that we can be?

What is holding you back?

What do you fear?

What is it in your life that you absolutely cannot afford to lose?

What is it that causes you to compromise all of your vaunted ideals and accept less than you deserve?

Asking these questions – actually realizing that these questions need to be asked – is one of the first steps to choosing to awaken to some of the deeper realities of life. Of accepting the fact that the way things have been is not the way things should be and that a change is in order. Accepting your compliance with the system and that you are indeed an agent of the system as long as you work for and through the system to support the global hierarchy of dominance and control is a big step in figuring out how to create a lifestyle of non-compliance and opposition to the machine.

That opposition does not have to be violent. In fact, non-compliance is one of the best and most effective ways to isolate systemic institutions and marginalize them to the extent that new, people-centered and sustainable institutions arise to serve the needs of a humanity more concerned with living life instead of accumulating capital and material goods. Living life in support of life, in support of animal rights, in support of human rights, in support of the earth’s rights beyond the capacity of formal institutions based upon capitalistic redistribution of wealth that actually serves to continue the concentration of wealth among the Haves rather than increase its availability to the so-called Have-nots. Going beyond money to reclaim a basic goodness and sense of shared destiny and circumstance that binds us all together as a whole – rather than continue giving power to the separation memes dividing us into classist, ethnic and individual parts – is the only way to make sense of any future conceptualization of life in this world. Anything less can only be a continuation of what is already occurring.

And the way life is being lived right now – or dreamed of being lived right now – by way too many is not what life is supposed to be about. Making money. Being rich. Being famous. People sell their souls on the daily and watch themselves, helplessly, as their spark for life lessens, as their bitterness grows, as their bodies age and their minds ossify in regret and lost hope. And they wonder what happened and when, knowing all the while exactly what happened and when they made the choice to conform to the life presented them and to give up their dreams for a sense of false security.

These things are distractions from the true purpose of life. Introspection. Inner growth. Spiritual evolution.

Happiness, love. Peace.

What is right with our lives?

Everything. Living in awareness is conscious evolution.

What is the reward for living a good life?

Stability of surroundings, of societal and familial roles. Peace of body and mind.

Is that really a goal worth living for?

It is the only goal worth living for.

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears


It’s been 3 months and 15 days since the Great Gathering. The Awakening experience continues. The world is full of pain and sorrow, suffering is promised until we find our way out. This Vale of Tears beckons us with its siren-call of heartache and excitement, passion and joy. We choose to return, to be with each other and to experience, each time. We die, and then we come back. I come back for you and you come back for me.

There has been no return to my previous state of mind or being. In fact, there has been a further deepening of the condition. As discussed in previous articles in the Practical Enlightenment series, there was a flattening of my emotional ties to past events and traumas that has continued. While that remains the case, as mentioned previously as well, old patterns of thought and behavior do continue to echo, although, for the most part, they grow fainter and fainter. A few behaviors continue that are deeper rooted within my psyche. According to Sadhguru, once Full Enlightenment is reached, the spirit automatically leaves the body. That is, unless something of the Earth is held on to. Some desire. Mine pertain to my family and mission.

For the Buddha, that desire was to teach. He held on until he had transmitted enough of his experience to his disciples and then he left the body in a conscious ceremony witnessed by humans, Devas and Brahmans alike. Siddhartha who became Buddha the totally Awakened One achieved his state of Being after 6 years of asceticism. One day, while sitting beneath a tree, he heard a musical instrument being played by a student on a passing boat. When the instructor explained to the student how the instrument should be tuned, neither too tight nor too loose, the idea of the Middle Way came to him. He immediately got up and went to the water to drink. Food was given to him by a village maiden. His disciples left, convinced he had given up the search for Enlightenment. 

The 6 years of mind training served Siddhartha well because when he took his seat beneath the Bodhi tree determined not to move until he attained his goal the mental strength and purification of his neural net and synaptic connections he had meticulously honed during the previous years provided him with a solid, clear container within which Cosmic Consciousness could reside. His decision, 6 years prior, to leave his newborn son and wife and set off to find the answer to suffering set him along the path and, following his victory over Mara, the Lord of Maya, under the Bodhi Tree, Siddhartha attained Enlightenment and became the Buddha. 

For some who attain enlightenment in these days and times it comes out of the blue. Some were not previously on a spiritual path while others had been seeking for years. It can occur spontaneously or it can be the culmination of a long period – potentially many lifetimes in the making – of mind-training and meditative practice. For many who attain Enlightenment, there has been no previous meditative immersion to the extent and intensity that Shakyamuni practiced. There has been no clearing of the neural networks. And so, for these souls, the process must occur after Satori. For me, I achieved the state first when I was 12 years old.

It was Oklahoma City, I was in 7th grade. Something had happened, I cannot recall the particulars. But I do recall the sense of despair. Overwhelming, raw, grief. Those were days when I could not look in the mirror at myself I was so ashamed of who I was. I was outcast in school, the subject of jokes and I was overwhelmed by the negativity and callousness of the other children. I did not know how I could go on. I remember a clear sensation of letting go, of being so tired of life, that I wanted to die. I totally let go of my self, of my ego, of my life. I sank within a pool of sadness that emanated outward from the center of me, encompassing my entire consciousness, until something was born there. Something that scintillated and shone, that began to spread like wildfire through me. Something like, joy. 

The grief mixed with the joy to become an overwhelming symphony of compassion and then, I was elsewhere. The feelings of the space come through still most clearly, even after all of these years. The transcendent joy and sorrow; my oppressors were no longer that, they were my companions, and the compassion that I felt for them was so much that I knew that I could die for them, for the world, if need be. That life was not important because life was never-ending and I would never really die, that there was no true death! Floating, ego lost, no I, no consciousness, the I that I speak of was a vast and impersonal We, I was immersed within the void that was filled with an energetic presence that I can only describe as the most intense, soothing and perfect love that I have ever felt in this life. 

I do not know how long I stated in that space of supreme bliss and enjoyment, basking in the revelation of my inner eternal nature, of our shared, infinite portion of sublime contentment. But upon my return, life continued. I cannot remember the exact timing or date of this early Awakening experience but what I do know for certain, is that I was different then. Something about me had changed. And people could tell. 

The remaining primary and secondary school years were revelations of difference and I was an observer, even of my own participation. I had no context outside of the terror of sleep paralysis that had been happening to me by then for a few years. No teachers, no books to inform me as to the nature of my experience. And so, I forgot about it. I erased the memory from my mind to the extent that only the faintest of recollections would disturb my waking slumber in later years, but no full recall until I was well on the way down my spiritual path.

But the echoes of it must have been apparent in my behavior. The particulars of my incarnative choices; black, American, male, and the synchronicities of life experience, of location and situation led me into extreme expressions of the experience of being Other during my youth. Of being different, the only black kid in all white environments, the familiar – to minorities around the world – refrain of the outcast versus the system. It seemed to be a constant reminder that I was different, I didn’t belong, something about me was off when compared to everyone else.

The problem was, there was no community where I fit in. Not black, not white, not integrated. Black kids teased me and bullied me, so did white kids. But I felt. I felt deeply. I felt compassion and love for my fellow beings. I was drawn to the sanctity of the Christian Church, the expression of a lived and vibrant spirituality. And yet, my social life remained problematic until I grew to the height of 6 foot and made the choice to pursue athletics again, as I had under the tutelage of my father during my primary school years. Then, things changed. My strangeness was offset by my ability and successes. I could dance and was, apparently, handsome. I was acceptable, with a few caveats.

I studied people and, where I could, made a place for myself in alternative communities, among the literary youth, interested in Sci-Fi and Fantasy, among the Artists, the Musicians, among the neighborhood kids, usually younger and with the girls, who accepted me for who I was. Friends, family members and casual acquaintances would on occasion look at me strangely because of my words or behavior. They thought I was arrogant, disrespectful, or uncaring and told me as much. I could not see myself the way they saw me. My ignorance of how or why I had changed left me puzzled by people’s reactions to me. I remember asking my mother, after the Satori experience, about leaving the body. Astral traveling, probably in relation to the experience itself. I do not remember if I told her about it. She informed me that evil spirits could possess me, which ended that line of inquiry. But, somehow, I made it through all of the confusion with a minimum of harm to myself or to others.

The  kenshō experience of my youth is now unmistakable. It fits all of the koan-like and parable-based descriptions of the Buddhist traditions as well as those of the modern Enlightenment Gurus who describe it directly in the Western tradition of academic exposition. As soon as I graduated from High School and went to College, my spiritual explorations took off and I began to study and practice meditation. The Great Gathering returned me to that exact same space, the Master encountered during that visit to the shining city of Shambhala smiling gently as emanations of pure magnetic love and compassion swept over me, his gesture sending my astral form flying backwards and upside down and back into Nirvana. It was as if the intervening years since my last experience passed in the blink of an eye and I had returned home. But these were not my only two experiences of that space. The intervening experience – which I’ve written about previously and has been published in a collection of learning stories – was a bit different.

I was in the military, the Army, learning Morse Code. The course was what was called an Additional Skill Identifier, so I was sent there directly after completing my primary communications course of 14 weeks as a Single Channel Radio Operator and before a month’s vacation back in San Antonio before being shipped off to Germany for what would become a 4 year tour of duty.

Tapping the telegraph key for 8 hours a day. The goal was to learn the language and to be able to tap the characters fast enough to complete groups of 5 characters. We were responsible for being able to type 10 groups a minute by the time the class ended.

One day,  about two weeks into the four week course, as I was listening to the code, tapping the key, there was a bending in my mind and, suddenly, I was again in a vast, formless space of nothingness, void-like in nature. And yet, there was something there. The symbols for Morse Code were there, in more than just symbolic form, they were also being expressed as a form of music, of resonation. I was the symbols, they were a part of me, I was a part of them and we co-existed together in this formless space as One. It was a pure form of knowing and instantaneous in nature. In the moments of my submersion within that morphogenic field I knew Morse Code. There was  another sudden, forceful bending of my mind, as if a mental muscle had been engaged, and I was back, exhilarated. And I knew Morse Code perfectly. In the space of the next 15 minutes I progressed from 3 groups a minute to 12. The instructor walked over, disbelief in his eyes. By the end of the course, I could tap out 28 groups a minute. The next closest person was 14.

The above-related event occurred in the middle of August, 1987. The Harmonic Convergence, as predicted by the Maya – ending the 5,125 year Great Cycle of History and beginning the 25 year energetic shift culminating on December 21, 2012 – occurred on August 16-17, 1987. The Harmonic Convergence was marked by a number of planets in Leo trining Jupiter in Aries and that also trine Saturn and Uranus in Saggitarius, an auspicious alignment, indicative of a collective energetic realignment and unification of purpose. This event marked the planetary embarkation upon a direct, spiritual path of evolution and ascension. As that has been the primary impetus of my life-path thus far, the correlation of my kenshō experiences with significant astronomical and astrological alignments is not lost on me. As I cannot date my initial experience, its relationship to astronomical factors remains a mystery.

The experience of Nirvana in this instance was as Knowledge. My first instance was as Compassion, as was the last, a full-circle reminder of the first. Perfect, pure insight that informed my spiritual explorations throughout my 20s and 30s. The other strange events I experienced in those years – to include the Remote Viewing and the OOBEs – make sense as the expression of Siddhis gained as a side-effect of my mental experimentations. As I have never felt pressed to explore them too deeply after becoming aware that I was able to access these alternate modes of perception, my current perceptive ability and paranormal experiences are limited to synchronicities, flashes of insight and the ability to access other’s auras and energy fields. As I currently explore these capabilities regularly through my work with BioEnergetic Holism, they continue to deepen and I grow more and more confident in my abilities as a Seer.

 The silence within deepens daily. Mindfulness is now second-nature and I can still the discursiveness of the sub-mental chatter at will. Meditation practice progresses, with the capacity to sit in shamatha meditation no longer tied to the breath or to the other mental tricks used by different traditions to get the mind used to stilling itself. I see no need for other forms of visual-based meditations, although those are quite popular in recent years.

The journey continues. As mentioned previously, I have determined that the “village” of my latest Satori was, indeed, the sacred city of Shambhala. The golden vibrancy, the peace, the extraordinary psychic abilities of those who lived there and the Master, he of exceptional presence and wisdom, who could only have been a Rigden King. After the Great Gathering, I basked in the expanse of Nirvana and unity consciousness for only a little while before deciding to return to my life and share the experience for the purpose of collective realization. There is no end, the deeper states of meditative exploration remain and the desire to document what I experience for the edification of others accompanies my desire to continue to love those who love me through the rest of their lives. I do not expect to return to this Vale of Tears again in human incarnation. The Bodhisattva in me desires only the enlightenment of all sentient beings.

That means you.

The Enlightenment Series

The Great Gathering

Practical Enlightenment: The aftermath of Kenshō

The End of Forever

Practical Enlightenment: Living in the World

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma

True Awakening: The conservation of energy

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people


One of the most important things that happens directly after a kenshō  experience is the loss of personal emotions. At least, that is what it seems like. But it is not actually what happens. The actual experience of kenshō  results in a virtual wiping of the synapses within the brain’s neural network. Memory remains intact, as does the ability to feel emotion. What has occurred is that the emotional ties that were once held in common with certain memories and states of being have been severed.

Things that happen to you that once would have had you seething with anger no longer do so. Memories that once had you crying rivers lose their potency. People whom you once detested you are no longer bothered by. A state of equanimity sets in, that, at first, may be unsettling. You may wonder to yourself, have I lost my emotions? Can I love anymore? Can I hate?

All of these emotions remain accessible. But it has now become your choice whether or not to honor them. Whether or not to bring them forward past satori into your new state of BEing.

One of the consequences of this slate-cleansing process is an intensification of experiential awareness. As the state of Enlightenment becomes part of the lived reality, old patterns of thinking, of responding, or acting that have been stripped of their emotional power remain, but are no longer fueled by neuro-peptides coursing through the body in support of the thoughts and their potential actions. Previous meditative practice resulted in the ability to clear the mind of thoughts, but this state of BEing actualizes; it becomes the default state after satori. But, as mentioned, old patterns still remain and, as they come up, they must be dealt with. Because they are no longer fueled by emotions it is a relatively simple task to let them go when they do not serve the new personality construct.

One pitfall that seems to be a part of this process but actually is not, is when dealing with other people. Whether realized or not, the chemical expression of emotions is also an energetic expression. When we feel emotional, our bodies actually reflect those feelings which can be measured on instruments of different kinds. Energetically speaking, emotions are energy that can be detected through kirlian photography, aura-reading and energy work. When emotions are experienced, they also emanate from us as a field and other people can feel them. The stronger the emotion, the larger the field. If the emotion is directed at a certain person, then that person becomes the focal point of those emotions. If the emotions are directed at someone who has experience a kenshō event, then – and because of that event  and the resultant ultra-sensitivity to physical and astral environs – that person experiences the emotional state as if it were her own.

This can be very confusing at first, but grows easier to handle in time. The emotions gleaned from others, which have rushed into the vessel of the enlightened one, can fuel responses commiserate either with old patterns of thinking and feeling or they can be processed and released. Effectively, they can pass through without catching hold. For the newly awakened, there remain old patterns that it is possible for the energy of the emotions to catch hold to, drawing the individual into the conflict which results in further confusion and inner examination. This is why it remains necessary for individuals who have experienced kenshō  to continue in their meditative practices as well as designating time to the recapitulation process as a method of self-clearing and re-attunement.

The choice to remain involved in the world and with other people is the choice of service-to-others. The fallacy of seeking in the process of spiritual elevation as a function of egocentric tendencies of mind to the detriment of spirit are difficult to surpass as the ego’s grasp upon consciousness is often seemingly all-pervasive to those so encumbered. But the passage through the morass is ever-present. Its deceptive simplicity actually contributes to its difficulty as a “that’s it??” response often occurs after being told what seems to be an easy prognosis of quieting and controlling the mind. The actual process itself, once instigated, builds upon itself, which leads to a steady-state resonance that allows the individual to ground himself in a manner previously impossible. To be present during the daily grind and able to effectively project all of herself into whatever it may be they are engaged in. Even after all of this practice, the actual satori experience is an experience of grace that is transmitted through a spiritual teacher that may be present in the physical world or upon the astral planes. Therefore no one can predict exactly when Enlightenment may occur for anyone, or how.

Despite these pratfalls, it is not possible for a person who has experienced kenshō  to un-experience it. To forget the experience or to return to the state of Maya. There remain no ties to the material world and its effects and all personality traits expressed thereafter become purposeful tools designated for specific tasks; the achievement of life-goals – of the spirit, not of desire – being paramount among those. Since the world of the senses holds no further attractions, those life goals must of necessity be spiritual in nature. And once kenshō  has been experienced, the only spiritual goal worth achieving is helping others to move beyond Samsara as well.

The Enlightenment Series

The Great Gathering

Practical Enlightenment: The aftermath of Kenshō

The End of Forever

Practical Enlightenment: Living in the World

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma

True Awakening: The conservation of energy

The End of Forever


Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore, a warrior must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if he feels that he should not follow it, he must not stay with it under any conditions. His decision to keep on that path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. He must look at every path closely and deliberately. There is a question that a warrior has to ask, mandatorily: ‘Does this path have a heart?’ ~ Carlos Castaneda Quotes from The Teachings of Don Juan

Life is too short. It seems like just yesterday that I was two, living in Maine, lying in the grass on a cool Fall’s day, intensely aware of the blue sky above me. Pale, green blades of grass streaked with gold rising above the fur of my hood, rustling gently, the sound of wind and the awareness that I was connected, that I was a part of something I could not define at such a tender age, but which I now recognize in remembrance as a physical abiding in Oneness. Pure BEing, essence, kenshō. Transcendence’s essence, there, at the very beginning.

Learning to be human, living a Military Brat’s life, moving every couple of years, learning to “fit in” as I could, always seeming to be different from even those were raised in the same world I was. Being malleable, changing personality traits depending upon the company and leaving ego at the crossroads, moving on as the souls left behind sift into memory like pages in a book fluttering faster and faster, ripped out by the gale-force winds of changing circumstances, environs, and people. Life is the same, everywhere. As are people.

Four years old in Novato and Hamilton AFB, California dreamin’. Repeated night visions of what seemed to me to be a ghost in the kitchen. The “dream” of dolls, chasing me with needles. My sister’s Raggedy Ann and Andy and Dressy Bessy dolls stand out. The cover-memory trembles at the edges, fleeting as gaping shadows ripping at the veneer of sanity.

Eight years old on the island of Crete, Greece and my first experiences of sleep paralysis. The weight on the chest, the sudden fear, the rhythmic-but-steady deadening of the limbs, the sensing of a presence nearby, the night-terror familiar to so many throughout the Ages. No idea what it was, but learning techniques to keep the paralysis at bay, beginning a lifetime’s journey into insomnia and alternate experiences of reality, marked as strange through no fault of my own, my night-time and inner journeys seemingly so different from all around me.

Twelve years old, lying in my bed at night, feeling an intense and almost undescribeable feeling of sacrifice, of being adrift in a sea of potentiality, feeling subsumed, permeated with infinite love, infinite giving, infinite possibility. Kenshō again. Blessed unity, Oneness, a realization of essential unity with the All.

Fifteen years old, finding Carlos Casteneda’s “The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge” sitting in the waiting room of an OBGYN at Fairchild AFB where I was a Red Cross Volunteen, looking across at Jenny Grey who was smiling and couldn’t stop staring at my big forehead. I didn’t wear afros long, after that. But the shock of the truths re-discovered then resonate still today.

Sixteen and my Bigmama’s death. Mama’s terrible cry in the back bedroom as Daddy and I worked on a Star Trek fold-up game I’d gotten, both of us staring into each other’s eyes at the sound and jumping up, running back there, knowing something life-altering had happened. Death became personal. As did grief.

Nineteen years old and in the Army, in the Zone and entering a cavernous space within during Morse code training, eight-hour work days spent immersed, connecting at a deeper level to signs and symbols that seemed so archetypal in nature, that became simplistic, mine to express in an instant, leaving all of my classmates far behind. It was as if I’d flexed a mental muscle, entered a hidden region of potentiality, accessed what I needed and then flexed that muscle again to return to normality, drained but excited beyond belief.

Twenty, my Bigdaddy’s passing. Being a Pallbearer for the first time, eyes shut in remembrance of our talks, him always asking me who the black people were in the bible, as if he hadn’t found it out himself decades before, but loving to talk, his shining soul pouring from his pale, blue eyes like fine wine from a decanter of pure crystal. The essence of him remaining, visions of him sitting, nodding, lost in contemplation.

Twenty-two years old and astral-projecting through sleep paralysis into a tropical sea, surround-perception and awareness of the intense coloration of the corals, the nearby fish that seemed to sense my presence yet felt no fear, drifting around me as if I were another outgrowth of brain coral, just a harmless obstacle to be navigated around.

Immersing myself in the world of experience. Forming a conscious vet’s perspective by flirting with death and dissolution, seeking solace in the arms of others, the spirits of plants manifest through drugs and alcohol, not needing validation, trying to lose myself, self-hate or seeking to fill some interpersonal hole, but experiencing for the sake of the experience itself, because I could, and was there, and was living.

These early lifetime experiences forming the basis for later explorations at all levels. The continuing educational journey through HS, college and Grad School, culminating in my present circumstances which encompass all that has come before and from which point I am manifesting all that is within me fully, in sublime celebration of the eternal spirit and infinite possibility. Because I am a writer, an artist, a musician, scientist and scholar, a synthesis of all of these interests might allow me to create something unique, from a perspective not expressed widely.

Don Juan’s wisdom is transformatory. The Path of the Warrior brooks no wavering. It requires clarity. Decisiveness. Making decisions and following them with no looking back, no regrets, no vascillation. Shambhala’s warrior-ship of compassion is the same, as is Gurdjieff’s Fourth Way, as are all true paths taught by all true teachers in the tradition of the Buddha and the Christ. Life is too short to spend it in the Past or Future when the Present holds all the promise that exists in Creation and beyond.

The difficulty of doing so is known to us all by direct experience. Our perception of the world is constantly trying to distract us from the Now through the workings of our minds; our Egos, inordinately concerned with regrets about the Past and worries about the Future, obscuring the moment. As within, so without. Slicing through those illusory concerns leaves us Awakened.

But being Awake provokes despair. Fear, again, in a last gasp of defiance, tells us, “This is the world as it really is, and it has both a beautiful and an ugly face, filled with wonder and horror, and the deck really is stacked against you. You traverse blood-thirsty brambles and dark canyons of malice, and chasms open up around you at every turn, threatening you with failure, with despair. Self-hatred works in opposition to your visions of Perfection and you wonder what it’s all for, what it’s all worth, in the End that you cannot see, cannot understand and, really, cannot even conceive of beyond some surface level understanding of theoretical spaces beyond vision that lie somewhere beyond the sky, and within the confines of the earth. Who do you think you are? G-d?”

A million paths become one. Our lives lead us inexorably toward Death, who waits, patiently, until our prescribed time arrives, at which point he ushers us dutifully toward the biggest change of state that we will ever experience in life. There is no room for fear when our eyes are wide open.

Everything becomes a matter of urgency, a matter of the utmost importance, a matter of foremost importance to the cult of I. From what we eat every day, to the words we say when we’re speaking to others. From the decisions we make about what to buy or not, to the path we decide to take home from work on any given day. Everything becomes meaningful. Filled with the potential for Love, and for direct manifestion of the soul’s urges, which are human and world-centered, yet Divinely otherworldly in aspect and degree.

Forty years old, and my Grandma Dororthy left this plane of existence. The graveyard in Paducah, Texas, is one of the most beautiful places on earth, to me. Big skies and red dirt, a dying town and dozens of cousins whom I haven’t seen in years, gathered around, kindly attentive despite my absence from family gatherings over the years, and circumstances which have left us in different worlds that rarely converge. A biting wind rolling over the funeral, the tent pavilion whipping frantically as stinging particles of red dirt assail us coming from the West. Daddy said later that it was Grandma Dorothy wanted us to get out of there – as ever, not wanting to cause a fuss – because she knew the drama that was coming after. I knew it broke her heart to see it.

Forty-three years old in a DC state of mind, working with my sister and spending my off-time at the Shambhala meditation center, hanging out with Capoeira students, walking the streets of the nation’s capital, unafraid. At 6’4, then 270 pounds, I seemed to be the one people were afraid of. Learning Lojong and Tonglen, implementing the meditations diligently, resulting in a transformatory heart opening. The result is multiple bouts of unexpected tears while walking to work, repeated instances of spontaneous compassion and the resultant bliss gated by grief, wondering if my emotions would ever stabilize again.

Fourty-four and a transmission of grace during a vision from a Master on the astral plane. The Great Gathering and another experience of kenshō, this time recognized and understood for what it was. Exhorted toward further gains, fits and starts of growth and realization culminating in a steady-state resonation in the throes of personal transformation; coming to grips with what my life path has been all about and what Enlightenment really and truly means in the modern world. Also coming to the realization that all of the intellectualism I had cultivated for so many years in the area of spiritual development was for naught. I knew the truth when I was two years old.

The present, and Death still threatens comfort and complacency, as always. Life is too short. Those we love won’t be with us for long. Every decision we make counts. It’s never too late to say you’re sorry. Relationships are what much of life is all about, and when those people we love are gone, we won’t be able to hold them, to kiss them, to tell them that we love them, and to confess the deepest truths of our hearts and souls – and to bear witness to the confession of theirs – to the ones who love us and have loved us and will love us till the End of Forever draws close.

Those recognized moments of Oneness still happen – more and more these days – and the thought of those moments, events, snapshots of Life that led directly to this instant juxapose in meaning, providing an underlying and resonant vibration of Purpose to the clarity of the Now. They are accessible if I need them, but I rarely do anymore. The aftermath of  kenshō is qualitatively different from what comes before and the acceptance and re-training of ego is a gradual process within which many pitfalls lurk. Direct experience assures progress as certain knowledge dispels ignorance and continued inner-work clarifies discernment and logos resonation within both the physical and ethereal realms.

My life experience is a composite of all of our experiences. There is nothing I have been through that you cannot go through and there is much I have been through that you have also. We are One within this bio-energetic reality and that means our experience in this lifetime along with all others binds us experientially as spiritual and material family. The family of humanity and the greater family of pure consciousness.

Pain and heartache are certain, while desire remains. Laughter and peace are as well. But between all lies the middle path of acceptance, of openness, of being intensely aware of what, where and who we are, and accepting all that comes to us with a giving and loving heart that knows no boundaries of possibility, seeking resonance and reflection in each other and the world and cosmos that hold us each close, whispering sweet lullabys of yearning and transcendence, soothing our souls as we rush headlong into the Abyss.

The Enlightenment Series

The Great Gathering

Practical Enlightenment: The aftermath of Kenshō

The End of Forever

Practical Enlightenment: Living in the World

Practical Enlightenment: Processing the emotions of other people

Practical Enlightenment: The vale of tears

Practical Enlightenment: Dealing with instant karma

True Awakening: The conservation of energy